"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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