Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize