I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
