Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
