He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
