So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
