Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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