So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
