I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
