Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I love you.
Bad choice
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
