I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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