she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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