this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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