wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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