You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
