You really coming over, don't trick.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
