i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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