I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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