honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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