your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
