I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
