fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
