Well douche your snatch and let's go!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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