Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
