I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
