You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
