Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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