She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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