I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
