Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
