Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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