conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
