she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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