This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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