I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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