Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We have started to decorate penises.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
