He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
