You can't motorboat a personality
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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