Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
COCAINE IS GR8
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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