I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im holly from the hills drunk
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize