I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
