Ketchup is God's man juice
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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