he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
