have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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