at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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