I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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