i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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