Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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