we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
