I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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