if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
