It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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